


Lead Me Astray (and we'll never come home)

by OverMyFreckledBody



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, Ambiguous Relationships, Cheesy, Dubious Morality, Fandom Allusions & Cliches & References, Flash Fic, M/M, Making Up, Post-Betrayal, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 09:45:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19423456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OverMyFreckledBody/pseuds/OverMyFreckledBody
Summary: Ryan finally finds Shane in his secret hide out and attempts to confront his ex-friend.It does not go to plan.[Or, based on a cheesy post Apocalypse movie AU where Ryan is the sidekick and Shane is the villain.]





	Lead Me Astray (and we'll never come home)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Turq_I](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Turq_I/gifts).



> alright, so lemme preface this with how kinda cliche and silly it is gonna be. it's like "serious" for shane & ryan, but the conception of this fic was silly, and I wrote this with the intention of making it fun rather than ""good"" so. take it with a grain of salt. that basically means that it has a lot of cliche stuff you would see in a b-lister movie.
> 
> so turqii (who also came up with the bitchin' title) sent me [ryan's post for the latest ep](https://www.instagram.com/p/BzRP1DtppNG/), and it got us talking, and you can see [the conversation that birthed this fic](https://overmyfreckledbody.tumblr.com/post/185960640703/lead-me-astray-and-well-never-come-home) and [turqii's ](https://turqidoodles.tumblr.com/post/185960609262/so-i-saw-ryan-and-shanes-photo-on-insta-and)_fantastic_ art  
> bottom line of that convo -
> 
> turqii: He looks like a side character from a movie about the apocalypse [...] He looks like someone who'd ride the motorcycle
> 
> me: Behind or in front of Shane
> 
> turqii: Wdym, Shane would be the villain

“It’s over, Shane,” Ryan spits, kicking a can out of his way. It clatters over the cement floor loudly, but Ryan keeps his eyes on the man standing at the other end of the room. The man who spins around at the sound, whose face drops, paling when he realizes just who has arrived in his stupid, secret, little hide out.

It’s a pretty shitty lair, if Ryan’s being honest. And as bitter and betrayed as he still feels right now, he feels his honesty about this kind of stuff is at an all time high.

“Ryan?”

Even now, when Shane’s voice cracks on his name, when he doesn’t bother raising his hands to protect himself, when Ryan has to pretend that his grip on the gun isn’t shaking and his eyes aren’t stinging with how wide and wet they are.

“Shut up.” His voice isn’t as firm as he’d maybe want it to be, but he doesn’t seem to have a lot of control over it, right now, so who fucking cares? It’s not what’s important here. What’s important is that they’ve finally cornered him and – and –

and, God, why are his shoulders drooping like _that_?

Yes, he should be acting in defeat, that’s right, but why does it… why does it have to look like _that_? Why are his eyes so sorrowful and… and… no, not _fond_ , but –

He’s not supposed to be looking like that. He’s not – he’s not _allowed_.

“Stop that,” Ryan snaps, jerking his gun to go along with his words. He’s so fucking angry. Who the hell does Shane think he _is_ , acting like he’s _sorry_ , just because Ryan is here with a fucking gun on him? He should have been sorry when he – “Stop looking like that.”

“Ryan,” Shane starts, and it’s one word, it’s one _fucking_ word, it’s just his goddamn name, but it’s – it’s in that – that _tone_. That stupid, goddamn tone that he would do when Ryan would talk about what Shane would call his “funny little theories”, the little things that turned out to be _true_.

Fuck. Him.

“No!” Ryan yells, maybe, because it’s loud in this small, boxed room, and Shane flinches at it. “Don’t you _dare_.”

Shane presses his lips together, a thin, white line. Somehow, it’s not much better.

Ryan licks his lips and tries to collect himself. He feels like all the pieces of himself he’s been trying to pick up since Shane’s little disappearing act are all slipping out of his hands again. Like he’s been holding himself together with old tape that is now too tired to keep him in one piece. The right words, one more of those _looks_ – and that’ll be enough to send him scattered into the wind.

He’s not going to give Shane that opportunity.

“Don’t – Don’t say my name,” Ryan tells him, warns him, really. He’s still got a gun on him, even if Shane doesn’t seem to really register it. He’s not afraid to use it. He’s _not_. “Don’t talk to me like we’re still _friends_.”

The venom in the last word is strong enough to hit Shane from across the room, cutting him deeply enough that he takes half of a step back, eyelids fluttering like he’s actually been hit. _Such a good actor_ , Ryan thinks, pulling his entire bottom lip between his teeth and biting down hard enough for it to ache, _The fucking liar_.

“Ry-” Shane starts, halting when Ryan’s shoulders bunch up around his neck. His throat bobs around a swallow, and Ryan watches it, if only to finally take his eyes off his face. “I didn’t know you’d be here.”

His voice is croaky, as if he’s been crying for a while already. And that’s just _silly_. They both know that Ryan is the one who gets all choked up between the two of them. Well, when it was a two of them. 

But that was a long time ago.

Ryan takes a step forward. Shane still hasn’t moved outside of when Ryan had pointed out their murdered friendship. “Big surprises all around," he says, the words tasting bitter as they leave his mouth. “Imagine what happened when I found out you were actually _alive_ a month ago.”

He watches the realization and understanding filter through Shane’s eyes at that and his lip curls at it. He doesn’t like the way Shane has only softened the longer Ryan yells at him. He doesn’t even try to defend himself. It’s pissing him off. “And then, when I found out what you’ve been doing.”

For the first time since he’d turned and seen Ryan, Shane looks away. He just barely ducks his chin, his eyes falling to the floor. His hands are still at his side, open and receptive to everything Ryan has to say – or even, shoot – at him.

It just. It’s not fair. Ryan came in here expecting to have to fight. Shane _loves_ to work him up. He loves to say or do things he doesn’t even actually _mean_ just if it’ll mean Ryan’s voice will pitch a couple octaves higher. He loves to laugh at Ryan’s glare, loves to bring up old, stupid arguments just to piss Ryan off all over again.

He’s not doing that now. He’s not doing any of it.

Ryan desperately tries to cling to any remnants of his hurt, his anger, at noticing this, when he demands, “ _Why?_ ”

But it’s clear that he can’t. Not when Shane is standing there, looking like that.

His voice is quieter, but just as broken, when he _begs_ , “Just – please. Tell me why you did it.”

At that, Shane lets out a cracked chuckle, eyes still everywhere that isn’t on Ryan. “You’re going to hate me,” he states, biting his lip before adding, “More than you already do, I mean.” He cards his fingers through his hair, and a piece slips out and onto his forehead. Shane doesn’t seem to notice. “It’s not even a good reason.”

“Try me.”

Shane looks at him, then, and gives a weak smile. Ryan feels the corners of his lips twitch up to meet it. Shane must have seen it, because his own grin grows a little, even if it still looks so, so tired.

“They were paying me in water and food.”

Ryan frowns at this. So was their other job, the one they worked together before Shane defected. “You mean, the food and water they stole from everyone else?”

Shane grimaces, but nods. Clearly, it’s something shameful, but apparently not enough to stop him from _doing_ it. What the fucking hell?

As if sensing Ryan’s anger start to mount again, Shane hurries to continue. “More than what we were getting before. A _lot_ more. We’re talking _double_ what we got together.”

Holy shit. It wasn’t like they were getting a whole lot, just enough to get by and maybe occasionally save for if things got dark, but. That’s a _lot_. And given how scarce resources were around here nowadays…

But that still doesn’t answer everything.

“But we were fine,” Ryan starts, brows furrowed and fingers not on the trigger flexing tightly around the handle of the gun. His arm is starting to hurt from how long he’s held it outstretched like this. “Why did you need more?”

“Listen, Ryan,” he takes a step closer, and Ryan ignores that and the fact that he’d told Shane not to say his name. Neither of them can take their eyes off of each other’s faces. “There’s this safe haven up north. They have actual farms there. Renewable clean water. Shelter and some electricity.”

No. There’s been too many of these “safe havens” that everyone dreams about. Ryan’s already looked into so many of them. He’s tired of chasing lies.

“It’s not real, Shane,” he says, tone flat and void entirely of any emotion he might have had left. He’s been drained of it all. He’s just empty now.

“That’s the thing,” Shane breathes out, now that he’s close enough that Ryan can hear it. There is a strange glitter to his eyes. He _believes_ in this one. “It _is_ real. I’ve been in contact with them. They’ve sent drawings, numbers. It’s an actual place, Ryan.”

He can’t believe it. He can’t. It can’t be real.

“What?”

Shane moves even closer. One more step and the forgotten gun between them would be pressed right up against his chest. “It’d be a bit of a ride, but with these supplies, we could make it up there in no time. Just you and me, buddy, that’s what I’ve been trying to do. For _us_.”

In his head, Ryan can see it. Just the two of them, on Ryan’s bike, or maybe in an actual car, to hold everything they need. No more working with the asshats who send Ryan dirty looks or say shit under their breath. No more wondering in the middle of the night if they’re going to be able to scrape by this week. No more having to plan to move to the next establishment if the work dries up here.

They could live next to each other. They could work together without fearing for each other’s lives. Maybe they would even have a night a week to relax. Maybe Ryan could get a night’s sleep that isn’t full of tossing and turning. Maybe he won’t even have to lie the next time he says he’s full.

Maybe they really could have this.

His mouth has fallen open as he’s been thinking, and when he looks up at Shane, he sees that he’s been watching him the whole time. There’s an energy about him – anticipation. He is _anticipating_ Ryan’s answer.

Ryan slowly pulls the gun down from where it was pointing at Shane and turns the safety back on.

That is answer enough.

Shane’s smile grows, and he’s out a breath he’d been holding. The _relief_ in everything, his eyes, his lips, his shoulders, is what confirms Ryan’s choice as being the right one.

However.

“I have a condition,” Ryan tells him as he swipes the back of his hand over his mouth. It does nothing to conceal the grin he has blooming there. “If we really are to do this.”

“Of course,” replies Shane, immediately. Jesus Christ.

Ryan bites back a laugh. Damn, okay. He shakes his head at the floor and licks his lips. He taps his fingers on the barrel of his gun as he thinks about how they need to go about doing this. “First of all, we can’t keep all those supplies to ourselves.”

Shane frowns and opens his mouth, but Ryan cuts him off before he can start with a wave of his free hand. “It’s stolen, dude. It’s not fair to let all these people starve just because we want to leave.” Shane’s eyes flicker off to the side, guilty. “Also, did you seriously think that you could come back after I thought you’d _died_ with a shitton food and water and not ask questions?”

Shane says nothing.

“Seriously? Give me a little credit here.” Ryan stares at him in disbelief. “I happen to have morals.”

“You do,” Shane nods heavily, and Ryan narrows his eyes in suspicion. “They’re getting in the way of my big plan for us to run away together.”

Ryan really, _really_ shouldn’t, but –

He laughs.

It’s the kind of laugh that’s a little too loud, given the situation. The kind of laugh that leaves him breathless by the time he’s done with it. The kind of laugh that comes like a flood made up of too many pent-up emotions. It’s a much needed one.

“God,” he mutters, wiping what might be tears from the corners of his eyes. When he looks up, Shane’s smiling at him again, all too soft, fond, or whatever. “We’re getting off track, asshole.”

_Asshole_ , Shane mouths to himself, but doesn’t actually voice aloud.

“I want to break up these guys,” Ryan tells him point blank. He tries to put his serious face on for this. “We stop them, return everything, and anything extra we take with us and make for the haven. That way I can sleep easy knowing they’re not hurting anyone else after we leave, and we still have some stuff to get us out of here. Win-win.”

To his surprise, Shane doesn’t look like he’s going to argue this. In fact, it almost looks like he’s going to say _yes_.

This time, it’s Ryan who finds himself holding his breath in anticipation.

“Win-win, huh?” Shane drawls, corner of his lip curling up. “You know what? I think I could –”

The rest of his sentence is drowned out by a very loud, distinctive _crack_ noise.

Right before his eyes, Ryan watches as Shane’s expression drops off completely. His face loses its color, much like it did when he’d first seen Ryan earlier. Together, they both look down see Shane’s overshirt – his _chest_ – now has a new hole in it, and that the deep blue is quickly turning darker.

Shane makes a choking noise as he suddenly becomes unsteady and starts to crumple towards the floor just as Ryan shouts, “ _NO!_ ”

But it’s too late.

He falls to his knees and is able to tug Shane into his arms before he can hit the ground. It’s an awkward angle, but he gets most of Shane’s weight on his lap, so he is able to cradle Shane’s head and side in his hands. Shane stares up at him, blinking all too slowly. He looks dizzy.

It’s too late. They both know it. The blood is coming out too fast.

“Would… would you…” Shane tries, his words mostly air. They’re made with his dying breath. He stops to cough and droplets of blood spill out, staining his mouth red. He reaches up to wipe them away, but his hand is shaking and it only smears it down his chin. Ryan pulls his hand away from his face, but Shane then fists his hand in Ryan’s jacket, so Ryan lets him.

The collar of Shane’s undershirt darken with a liquid that isn’t red enough to be blood. It’s then that Ryan realizes he’s crying, finally. His face is so warm from the tears pouring down and the blood rushing too it, but he doesn’t – he doesn’t fucking care.

With the hand that Shane pulled himself free of, Ryan brushes away that spare lock of hair from before. Shane’s eyelids flutter at the contact – or maybe the lack of blood. Ryan leans closer and closes his eyes as he tries to get in enough air to say what he needs to. He doesn’t have long, he knows, so the words are barely more than a murmur, “I forgive you. I would have left with you.”

Shane smiles, for what they both know is going to be the last time.

He starts to mouth something that he doesn’t have the strength to make audible. Ryan bites his lip, breathing heavily through his nose as he watches. Shane is in the middle of an _o_ shape when his mouth falls slack and the light finally fades from his eyes.

The last sight he’d been focused on was Ryan’s tear-streaked cheeks and red, red eyes. He can’t imagine it was a pretty one.

He knows that the one he has in front of him is the worst he’ll ever fucking see.

**Author's Note:**

> again, check out [turqii's art](https://turqidoodles.tumblr.com/post/185960609262/so-i-saw-ryan-and-shanes-photo-on-insta-and)! i love that so fucking much
> 
> thanks everyone for reading! i hope it was a fun for you as it was for me to write it!


End file.
